I won’t let myself leave work until I write something. I’ve written a lot on this page, and deleted it all, intermittently & throughout my fruitless workday. I wrote things about commitment, fears about uterpies, and sentences that were intended to be pulled from the screen in strings to be used for self flagellation over how mind-numbingly trite I felt over it.

I think I’m now having recurrent Britney Spears dreams where she’s performing at a small club trying to get her career back on track and she’s performing with her brother. I don’t know much about Ms. Spears, but in my parallel universe she has a brother who’s also trying to establish an entertaining career. Anyhoo, they get up on stage and as an intro she’s decided to try rapping, and they’re both poised at microphones, and she busts out her part surprisingly syncopated and doesn’t really botch anything and it’s the trade-off, she looks over at him, he’s supposed to do his little ditty & rap his bit, but he looks out at the crowd & sees some skepticism – people aren’t throwing rotting vegan junkies or anything, but they’re not in the groove – and he decides to forego his part. With a half smile on her face, anticipating his part, he mumbles that they’ll get on with the show and takes his place behind a synthesizer and she’s left, center stage, at a microphone, with her half-expectant, anticipating smile, fading…  I’ve never been a Britney fan, but in my dream I’m near the front of the audience, and I just feel so damn sorry for her.

If anyone has a dream interpretation to offer up, I’m in need.