My unified theory has stagnated. Although I see things coming full circle, it lends itself not to a sated feeling but to a tail-chasing one.

Things coming full circle. When you’re hell-bent on becoming An Expert on some subject matter. For instance, you learn from the doctor that you have contracted an STD. This is a rare instance where you will do your homework. You can’t rely on knowledge bypasses to get you out of the quicksand of your ignorance – there’s no reaching out for a friend, because you’d have to let them know where you were at, you’d have to call attention to a bit of information that’s causing you doubt about yourself, your actions, regrets, what-have-you; how on earth are you supposed to reach out and count on someone else loving you more than you’re really loving yourself in that moment?

Oftentimes, I think here a secret is born.

So the customary pamphlets and reading materials supplied by the doctor’s office, the ones forgotten so quickly they often don’t even make it home with us, these same pamphlets are, for once, read. What’s more, there’s a good chance you’ll go out and seek more information through internet research. If you’re [insert adjective here] like me, you will do this to a point where I read an article or look up an answer and I already know the answer. Those are times when I see things coming full circle.

I suppose it’s reasonable to expect my unified theory to take more time and patience. Possible my lifetime, though that’s disappointing since I’d really thought I was making some progress in noticing themes, reiterations, patterns, a scaffolding, but it’s also probably foolishly optimistic, naïve, and quaint that I have hope of getting it in my lifetime.